Dear Stephen Ross,
Enclosed is my resume... Please take a moment to review in detail. Allow me to introduce myself with this short list of career highlights...
2004-Present - Pittsburgh Steelers OC
3-time AFC Champion — 2005, 2008, 2010
2-time Super Bowl winner — XL (2005), XLIII (2008)
Please notice how the QB of the Steelers, Ben Roethlisberger has performed under my tutelage.
2001–2003 - Cleveland OC
I realize Mr. Ross, this was not my finest effort as I found it impossible to coach up Tim Couch, even though we thought he was a can't-miss pro prospect. I'm sorry to say, I cannot polish a turd.
1998–2000 Indianapolis - QB Coach
Yes Mr. Ross, I was Peyton Manning's first quarterback coach when he arrived in the NFL. In 3 years I took him from a raw rookie to one of the most prolific talents in the history of the league.
1997 - Alabama OC
This was not a good year for the 4-7 Crimson Tide, I will take my share of the blame for team not playing well.
1993–1995 - Mississippi State OC
1989–1992 - Chiefs RB coach
Mr. Ross, you may remember a guy named Christian Emeka Okoye? No? Does the Nigerian Nightmare ring any bells? I was his RB coach.
1983-88 - Temple University Head Coach
I know you were looking for a coach with experience as the head man and I realize it was a long time ago, but I think my body of work shows I am ready for another opportunity.
1981-82 - University of Alabama RB coach
You may remember a man named Paul Bryant, commonly referred to as "Bear?" He retired in 1982 and I didn't get to spend as much time as I would have liked, but any time with Bear is better than none.
Mr. Ross, I appreciate you taking the time to review my career highlights and I hope you will take me into consideration in you search for a new head coach.