The Reality of the Miami Dolphins

I chucked while reading an article by Andy Cohen at It was like listening to John Lennon imagining the greatness of the Miami dolphin rushing attack. “Imagine if Arian Foster can fully recover from a torn Achilles and regain the form he once had. Imagine if Jay Ajayi makes the quantum leap from his first to his second season as many predict that he will. Imagine if rookie Kenyan Drake can provide the same bolt of electricity he did at Alabama?”

The axiom, ‘availability is an ability’ seems to allude the Miami Dolphin personnel department, no matter who resides at the helm. Earth to Miami, reality is constructed from the word real… Arian Foster is less than a year removed from a torn Achilles tendon. Jay Ajayi is nursing a bruised knee bone after putting on pads for the first time (not to mention his fall in the draft due to injury concerns) and Drake has some nagging injury to go along with the litany of injuries that derailed his college career.

About this time, you’re pounding little heart is screaming at the Negative Nancy writing this article. “He’s shattering my illusion!”

Reality is a wicked little bastard…

Ever notice how we’re allowed to write bastard, but we’re not allowed to write bitch? Oops, I did it! I wrote a politically incorrect word, bitch…

Isn’t that what this is all about? It’s politically correct to write about Miami’s potentially great stable of running backs, with the preface, “if they can stay healthy.” Heaven forbid we delve into reality, because it seems cruel to burst anyone’s happy little bubble prematurely. No, let’s run with this deception right up until reality lands like a cinder block on our cozy wittle heads.

How about let’s just go with the idea perhaps Adam Gase was just not that impressed with Lamar Miller. Isn’t the Miller situation another instance of bitching? The offensive coordinator and head coach just wanted the QB they hated to throw all the time and didn’t hand off to Miller? Please, listen to yourselves…

According to all the bitching, it wasn’t Tannehill audibling out of the running plays. He wasn’t allowed… Is it too early to call bullshit on the entire mess Philbin created?

Is bullshit another politically incorrect word?

Miami is a laughing stock because the entire organization was full of bullshit…

Boss Ross couldn’t admit he made a colossal mistake hiring people like Philbin because rich guys don’t make such terrible mistakes, bullshit!

How long has Andy Cohen been writing for Unfortunately, I’m old enough to know and for the last decade of dismal performances, he’s been writing the same delusional bullshit.

Sorry Andy, nothing personal, I’m just bitching.

This is how a team gets to where Miami is, by believing in their own bitching and bullshit.

How about we start over, it does look like Adam Gase has the potential to be a good coach, but he won’t last if the front office, fans and the press continue to live in the land of misfit bullshit and bitching.

They didn’t run Lamar Miller because he was afraid of contact… He was afraid of contact at UM, it was nothing new. I got nothing against Miller, he got paid and he still has two knees that function. Ajayi and Drake want the payday and Foster wants one more chance to cash in. There’s that reality thing again, how we hate the real thing!

“Ain’t nothing like the real thing baby... Bullshit!”

The whole politically correct society has crept up on our game and our consciousness like bitching and bullshit on a downhill roll. Two huge men crashing head first into each other, bashing helmets, oh my… That’s bullshit, we need to be bitching about that right now.

Whoa, in one sentence I changed bitching and bullshit from forbidden to politically correct…

Bashing and bitching and bullshit, oh my!

You see, Tannehill was actually changing the plays… Miller didn’t like to run between the tackles, when Tannehill checked to the open “A” gap Miller hesitated. That’s why he wasn’t allowed to change the calls anymore.

Call it bullshit, but that’s why Tannehill is still here and Miller is not. Philbin never corrected the problem. When Philbin was gone, Man Campbell started sitting Miller. Campbell didn’t go for the bitching and bullshit and neither should we.

The reality is, Miami couldn’t fix all the problems the team was facing. In light of what I just wrote, they were not going to pay Lamar Miller. Olivier Vernon was on a defensive line that began the season with Wake and Suh taking the brunt of the double teams. Vernon may have been a decent player, but he was never worth the dollars the Giants threw at him.

We all know the bullshit with Brent Grimes’ wife’s constant bitching. Whether it was a career decline or a product of her in his ear, Grimes was not the player he had been.

I don’t need to go into the mess Philbin made by not jettisoning the bitch, Jonathan Martin. If we still had Richie, I doubt we’d have the problems at guard, but that’s bullshit under the bridge.

The reality is, RB, CB, OL and DL were in bad shape and there was not going to be enough talent or cash available to fix them all. Miami should be commended for not making the mistake of trying too hard to sign a single star. They let the chips fall where they may and got the best they could.

Mario Williams fell to them and honestly, if Vernon is ever as good as Williams I’ll be surprised. The best offensive lineman in the draft fell to them. Fixing two out of four in one off-season is not bad and they didn’t stretch too far except for perhaps Drake.

The Dolphins head into the season and the reality is, injuries are going to hurt the running game and the DBs are going to get torched…

See, even with all the bitching and bullshit, reality was not all that hard...